cadaverconsumer-deactivated2025:

odysseus tying himself to the mast but he’s doing some proto shibari type shit to make his tits look really good and his crew isn’t saying anything but it’s kind of hard not to notice

(via carby)

anarqueeen:

“Why isn’t our website profitable????”

ladyaldhelm:

HOW TO TURN OFF GOOGLE AI in GMAIL:

1. Open Gmail in your browser
2. Click on the Gear Icon ⚙️ in the upper right
3. In the General Tab, scroll down to “Smart Features” and UNCHECK THE BOX. It is about halfway down.
4. Then, right below that is Google Workspace smart features. Click on the “Manage Workspace Smart Features” and make sure both toggles are OFF

(Source: instagram.com, via carby)

dogpuppy:

(via 2pacula)

beardedmrbean:

arrowheadedbitch:

vitrified-vitriol-deactivated20:

sayhelloanimalfriends:

woman-becomer:

jollyfurydragonballer:

IT’S TIME TO FLOP IN THE SLOP

no music 🎧

Thank you for the no music note. Animal frolicking noises

I was NOT expecting him to SCREAM

(via carby)

segamascott:

segamascott:

internetgreatesthits:

(via capillaryspice)

topherchris:

melioricism:

breadandblankets:

breadandblankets:

so i took out the trash today like the good house husband i am not, leaving behind the rank smell of long forgotten noodles and the regrets of two people with memory issues

i, like any good tumblr citizen, remember the tales of the person who put two cups of vanilla extract in their oven so i did the sensible thing to get out two Caps of extract

just then, inspiration struck. a bolt of lightning straight from the muses themselves, if i could use vanilla extract…. who’s to say i couldn’t use other extracts?

i scoured the cabinets, i knew my partner had secreted away some illicit non-vanilla type extracts for baking, and i found it.

hidden in the back of the cabinet was a lone bottle of mint extract

i emptied my two caps with abandon into an (oven safe) glass dish and gleefully set the oven for 300 for an hour

all that was left now was to wait for the sins of the mind to be purged by the mighty mint leaf

ten minutes in… starting to smell kinda like a thin mint

fifteen minutes in, i take a nice deep breath of lovely scented air and i am greeted by searing burning minty pain

i launch myself towards the kitchen, every step closer to mint hell, every orifice on my face burning with the freezing righteous flame of menthol

im fumbling for the oven mitt to rid my home of this foul demon, i pry the oven open and am hit with a blast unlike anything else

i feel what that vine kid taking shots of mouthwash feels, i was seared raw, my tits were blown clean off, and it was just me and that devilish beguiling minty fresh taste

quickly dumping the rest into the sink i ran towards the door, begging for the sweet sweet smell of un-minted air

learning nothing from this encounter, i dare to try once more, with the tumblr-approved extract this time

wish me luck

update: the vanilla has finished cooking, it now very much smells like the pillsberry doughboy fucked a thin mint

doesn’t hurt tho so…. improvement?

#congrats on commiting chemical warfare against yourself

(via capillaryspice)

omegasmileyface:

gotterhag:

beardedmrbean:

you-do-not-know:

o-kurwa:

okay but can i eat that

Forbidden cake

I thought chocolate guy was off the shits

(via capillaryspice)

thecollectibles:

Order of the White Rose by Ekaterina Kalinina

majo1403:

(via andrewmarie)

rose-in-scarlet:

orewing:

Funko Pop maker admits it might not survive another year as sales crash - Dexerto

Funko warns investors of “substantial doubt” about its future as 2025 sales drop 14% and debt hits $250 million.

Dexerto

funko pops are dying, reblog to make them die faster

🎉🎉🎉

(via andrewmarie)